Saturday, December 8, 2007

Second Helping Time Paradox-Solved?

Some of you may remember the time travel paradox I talked about in one of my first posts. Well I have been beating my head against this problem and I think I might have a solution, but whoa Nelly, it's a doozy. Now it stands to reason that there is a smallest possible unit of time, otherwise how would they add up the"obvious" passage of time we live in? Now lets say we compare each 'moment' to a 2d cartoon frame. IN old school 2d animation, before Flash and tweening and all that jazz, each frame was technically a different character, each one an individual, full formed, and isolated. Without time. But if we display them at a rate of speed, we get the illusion of time, of a moving character. Now what if each moment, not a new universe forming, for that would still beg questions on the conservation of matter and energy, no, what if, these universes 'already' exist, one for each quantum moment, one for each possible quantum moment. That’s right, I am suggesting that for each possible moment a separate universe exists, full formed, but without 'time'. Of course this, like the traditional many worlds theory, begs the question, why do we experience this? Okay, I'll have to ask some scientist or someone about that one, or maybe God. But still ,this idea, which I have a good feeling someone has already thought of, answers the double serving of ice cream question, it says that the ice cream is a different ice cream, it comes from a different quantum moment, made of technically different atoms then the one from the more recent past. That’s why you can eat it twice, it comes from a different "frame".

Friday, December 7, 2007

Why is a Pepperpot in my Clue Deck?

This a weird thing to rant about and don't I know it, but you see, I have a conundrum. More like a what the...? actually.
My family owns a game of Clue, the famous board game from parker brothers. Now the good old boys of parker brothers seem to like to come out with a new 'edition' of this illustrious who done it. But MY families edition, came out around mid-late 90's the 'pistol' didn't look well..normal. I mean, lets go over the classic stereotypical most common pistol types.
Flintlock AKA Pirate Pistol, common to Treasure Island and movies based on theme park rides created by well known antisemites...(BREATH!) rip-offs.
Revolver or Cowboy Movie Pistol. The first effective repeating pistol, this gun, did some major ass woopin' on many an old western movie set. Also common among members of the Fictional City police.
Semi-automatic or Automatic pistol. Despite the movie love of calling those square chunks of metal 'automatic' there are few true automatic pistols on the market. It would be wasteful anyway, what's the freaking being able to shoot 900 rounds a minute if you run out in...well zip. Less then in fact.
Anyway there is another kind of pistol. Its called a 'pepperpot' pistol. Why? I don't know. All I know is its the goofiest name for a deadly weapon (is there any other kind?) I have ever heard of. It's also, most impotently, not in Earthlings Stereotypical Guide to Pistol Type Gunnery and Assorted Hardware. Its obscure, damn obscure. If I type Automatic pistol in the image search on Google (all hail the Google!) I get 122,000 hits, revolver pistol, 91,000 hits, flintlock 42,600. For the pepperpot pistol? And this is with the quotations off folks, 226. By Google standards that is nearly zip, nothing, nit, bupkis. And only about 5 of the pictures are OF pepperpot pistols.
We are talking serious obscurity levels. So why is it in the game? Was the Vice president of Clue Weapon Design at parkers brothers a collector or something? Its not just the card, the little metal piece is also a pepperpot. Now, this has got to be the worlds stupidest rant EVER, but it still puzzles me. If you have the answer, and you read this blog,(the chances are Astronomically low, I know) then please write and tell me.Put a comment on this peice, Please I beg you (actully, I beg for comments on any post) I would love to know why. please tell me, I can't get to sleep at night, it haunts me! please tell me, please! *sob!*

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

The whole world wants to have sex with a cartoon.

Woe, woe the poor child who searches for his favourite cartoons with the sex blockers off. What can pop up could really scar a kid for life.
I mean you can find any cartoon you can name, any character, and somewhere on the information superhighway, there will be a picture of one having sex with another. It can chill you to the bone. The whole world seems to wants to have sex with a cartoon. And I don't just mean hentai, in fact hentai and anime aren't really my complaint. Hentai is designed to titillate, it is the authors intentions. But when some hack artist, decides to use his either mediocre, or sometimes brilliant art skills, and turn out a cel fuck-fest. I mean Babs and Buster of Tiny Toons going at it like well...rabbits, I am talking spongbob and patrick fucking like flounders, I am talking Mr.Jetson getting head from Mrs. Jetson. I am saying Disney porn and Simpsons Sex. If you want it, you'll find it. Trekkie Monster is right, the Internet IS for porn. Everything else, is just filler.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Calvin and Hobbes: Breakaway

I love Calvin and Hobbes, the humour and wit always astounded me. But unlike a lot of thoughtful comics, it was also riotously funny. It made you think whilst you laugh, and believe me, that takes work. Some genius decided to put the song breakaway to the comic, and somehow, it works, it gives Calvin a nobility he may not always deserve, but should get anyway. Heres to Calvin and Hobbes.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Language, gift of the gods.

I love languages, all languages. I love all the varied ways of saying the same thing, yet subtly different. I just love listening to people speak languages I don't understand, the voices twirling and contorting in ways that are universally beautiful. As long as one has a nice voice, PERIOD, any language is beautiful. I was at the local community centre just coming out after a play, and there was this family speaking this language. I had NO idea what it was, but it was enchanting. The tones just rolled over me. I had no idea where one word began and another ended, and really I didn't care too much. Foreign languages written down in Latin text tend to distort the feeling. German, spoken is a lovely language, written it looks like a last bout of the consumption. Japanese looks statico, but all words are lovely when spoken in love. I love foreign languages films not just for the subject matter, but for the language. I ALWAYS watch these movies in subtitles, even animation. Its just a wonderful experience, hearing emotions, which are nearly universal, reflected in the infinitely varied ways of speaking our thoughts. There are many myths about the birth of fire as a gift from the gods, but few about language. It is too bad, for it is most certainly divine.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Book Review: "The Cat Who Saw Stars" by Lilian Jackson Braun (2000)

I admit I am not the biggest mystery reader, but I do like them. They are something to savor, the tantalizing clues,the plot twists, the cunning resolution at the end. But alas, this book is dumber then me the day after Mardi Gras. Its a royal hangover of a book. I can't even in good faith recommend it to the fans of this series. Now admittedly I have only elsewhere encountered this series in the Readers Digest condensed novels. And if I remember rightly on the whole they were enjoyable. Unfortunately, half way through I had this feeling that it wasn't a mystery at all, at least not one you could read. I guess after writing 22 books, Lilian Jackson Braun went crazy and they had to put her down.
Basicly there is murder and we never know who did that one. There is another murder, and we find out in a turgid infodump near the end who it was, plus a bunch of weirdness that basicly feels stupid. I like to keep in an open mind about things, but this was stupid.
I won't spoil it for you, but when and if you are foolish enough to pick up this book, you will know what I mean. If you do still want to read it, go to the library, and by Jove don't turn it in even a day late. Otherwise its a huge waste of money. Of course its also a waste of your time. but, its your life, If you want to feel your brain been pulled out of your nose by a crotchet hook, that's your business. But if I stop even one reader from picking of this prison gang bang of a book from reaching even one reader, stopping it from turning one reader off the written word forever, then I can rest happy.
1/2 star out 100
Pro: The spelling was better then mine.
Cons: Everything else

Hating My WP But Not Hating Woman

This is to explain to anyone who had trouble with the last post, for one thing my word processor does recognize the word "antisemitism" as a word. I should have just looked it up on google, but alas, I felt assured it would recognize this vile word. You see, I am not so goods at the spellings, (and not so good at the grammar either) As a favor to you, my loyal fans. I write this on a word processor program, a free one by the name of "Jarte". Now as far as a free program goes, this is really good. But alas it still has its failings. That's why if you stumbled across this page and wondered what "anti-scientism" was. Now I have been doing some research and it turns out this "scum Manifesto" has been used as an excuse for some rather nasty (understatement your name is Earthling) Antifeminist diatribes as en "example" of the "evil" of feminism. ( Man, my quote fingers are getting sore, two of which are my typing fingers, OH NO!)
Now I was born in 1986. The main thrust of the feminist revolution was over. So I grew up considering thinking misogyny was a great evil. This is the world I grew up in. If I have offended any feminists with my words, then I am sorry, but it was my gut reaction, and I stand on it, (My gut that is, seriously I was nearly blowing chunks after reading the Manifesto) I do think people who hold positions close to what she had to say are wrong. But I still hope we can talk like grownups. Because, I still somehow, cherish in my heart the hope that I can talk to anyone about anything, and not get angry be objective and all that. This woman, dead in her grave, is someone you can't talk to. But I hope I can with others.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Scum Mainfesto:A diatribe of hate and evil, and it felt familiar

I have just read about a quarter of the Scum Manifesto. And already I have figured out a few things. One being that you can't argue with people like that. And this is rather watershed moment for me, because one of my most fondly held lies is just that. That one can talk sainly and objectively about something to anyone. That it is possible to disagree with anyone, without getting your knickers in a twist. Well I have to say my knickers are severely twisted. My teeth clenched as read the vile and pus ridden spew, of a person whose sole aim in life was the eradication of my sex. I was mentally stammering as I tried to think of something ,anything, that could convince a person of such hatred they were wrong. And I couldn't think of anything. It was an overwhelming wave of raw fury filled bile that I couldn't even begin to say what I wanted to say. It was nauseating to say the least, the English language doesn't cover the most. Another thing was I recognised parts of it. Now admittedly I hope no one holds all these beliefs, but there was one or two I recognised. The one that stood out was the pervading myth that men are just crippled woman, that our emotional reactions are not different but rather less then a womans. Well they are not, men have emotions too. Admittedly we show them differently, and they have different concentrations and buttons, but they are still there, different, and unique. Admittedly there is a continuum, some men are emotionally more like woman , and some woman more like men. But just because its a gradient, doesn't mean there isn't any difference. This scum Manifesto, is unmitigated sexist evil. But like antisemitism, we must not only watch for the big Mien "Kempf's, but also, the little jokes the little dehumanising acts. That is also a gradient. And it can be equally sinister.

Star Wars: Don't Fear the Reefer Man

I have not seen all the original star wars movies, though I have seen phantom menace ( and liked jar jar binks) and I have seen the second prequil in theatres I did see the of the first one. Now I am a trekkie, so my hopes weren't the highest. My biggest hope was hearing James earl Jones as good ol' darth vader. I saw that actor in "Red October" and I thought "Man, with the right echo, that guys voice could chill the flesh off my bones." I had read the novel, so I had a basic idea what the whole mish-mash was about. And I was like," Ya, Vaders going to be uber scary!" and so I waited, huddled in my seat, waiting for the first seprical words from the evil masked dark lord of the sith.
And promptly burst out laughing. Maybe it required a decade or two more to add that layer of deep menace to that already deep voice. But instead of some big scary shit vibe, all I got was a big Jamaican stoner vibe. I am serious, that how I felt. I half expected him to take off his helmet and have these big dreds pop out. maybe put on a tie died tshirt and some torn khaki shorts or something. Whatever it was it wasn't scary. And after that I just couldn't take it seriously. Now I praise them for some great set design, some inventive aliens and droids, plus a feeling of history that was visually quite compelling. But Vador was no scary mon, Vader no scary.

Satire: keeping the naked tyrent at bay.

Satire these days is two guys in suits screaming about GW Bush. And they are quite good. But we need more. Much more. Satire can be an instrument of social change. It can expose the petty little and not so little evils of the powers that be. It can dethrone kings, and bring about revolutions. We don't see enough of it. We need a wall of laughter, good sweet laughter, to challenge those who would oppress in the name of security. We need to have the courage to look at ourselves and our leaders and relize we may be the free the brave, but we are also a bunch of silly selfish, bloated bunch of ducks. We need to expose the emperor as the nudist he really is.
Now there is an old trick to make yourself laugh. Say haha over and over again. It'll happen soon or later. You'll experience that orgasm of the soul, that music of pain and joy, the most wonderful sound in the world...Laughter.

Christian Agnosticism

I have been pondering my own existence lately and I have come to the conclusion I am a Christian Agnostic. That is, I believe in God, but I realize there is no way of proving one way or other His/Her/Its existence, scientifically. Whenever a proof pops up, another turns up as well disproving the existence of God. And I am fine with that, An all-powerful being could erase His own evidence quite handily. And some feel that is deceitful and in a way it is, but I think it shows how much this being ( If they exist )cares for us. Lets say we had absolute incontrovertible evidence that God exists. Like a street address "Second Star to the Right, and striate on till morning." The only plus side I can think of is that it would put the worlds space program in hyperspeed. But other then that we would be always wining and bitching, asking God to do stuff. Okay we do that anyway, But suppose He/Her It DID those things? How would we learn anything? It would be the worst case of breaking the Prime Directive EVER. Yes I realize there is so much suffering in the world and breaks my heart, but these were brought on by our mistakes it is we who must learn how to fix them. I think God works in both small extraordinary ways ,but mostly very ordinary HUMAN ways. To quote Futuramas God/Spaceprobe, "If you do things right, people won't know you've done anything at all."
In conclusion, I have faith God exists, but as an act of trust to a poor screwed up wonderful humanity, he has made sure we must find things out for ourselves. As well I am sure that I am unsure scientifically. Otherwise how could it be called faith?Just like I have faith that mankind will work many of its problems out, even though I have seen unfortunately little evidence. In my doubts I find strength, and the conviction to carry on.
" I don't know anything, I never did know anything, But now I know I don't know anything" Wise words Scrooge.

Braveheart: A brave statement about war. even if I don't agree

Mel Gibson has gotten a lot of flack lately and rightfully so। Anti-Scemitisem is one of the most disgusting beliefs on the planet, and I hope to dies and never returns. But one of the first movies he made (produced, directed, wrote?) "Braveheart" really speaks on the issue of the just war. Can there even be such a creature? Now there have been many movies made about war, some against and a few for. Now when you have an anti war movie its usually portrayed as ugly and horrible, while those for usually have the knights in shining armor going into battle and winning handedly, while still looking nice pert and pretty by the end of it. Now Braveheart is a tad different. Its bloody gory and frankly quite disgusting. But I think that is the point. War IS ugly and bloody and gory and MORE then disgusting. But what Mel is saying is, "Freedom is worth killing and DIENG for" Now I am not sure I agree with that, but the thing is that in most countries people have died so you have the right to go to a mosque instead of a church or even a different kind of church. Freedom COSTS. Is it worth it? And Mel doesn't just show his noble warriors doing battle, they get bloody and dirty and die. Families go and collect as many pieces as they can find to bury, to morn., people get there heads cut off, guts ripped open, just so they don't have to have a foreign overlord. The die slow death of gangrene or a quicker death of an arrow in the eye. Is freedom worth it? Do we really appreciate what many of our ancestors did for something as tenuous as freedom? I don't know, part of me says it was worth it, and part of me says no. But that is the beauty of "Braveheart" it forces you to ask. A sick twisted bitterly powerful movie. I may not completely agree with it, but I am glad it asks the questions the does.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Belly Dancing: Just for the ladies?

One thing I have been trying to do lately is stretch my boundaries, basically up till now I mostly limited myself to trying 'weird' foods. Cuttlefish flavoured rice puffs, anyone? Really, in a weird kind of way, they are rather addictive. More on that LATER. Anyway, I decided to take a plunge, I was going to take a belly dancing class. Now I am not sure about the rest of the world, but in Canada, were belly-dancing is just really starting, its almost exclusively a womanish thing. But I heard its a great way to work out your abs, and burn them calories. Both areas I could use quite a bit of work on. So sign me up Scotty, beam me WAY outside my comfort zone! I enquired of such classes, and it turned out there WAS such a class, in the cowichan valley! I was getting excited, I started really wanting to join. Look out boundaries and perception Here I COME!
Then disaster, they wouldn't take me. I tried sending e-mails, talking to coworkers who also were who might know some extra details. Nothing. This totaly, absolutely SUCKED DONKEY DONG! What was WRONG WITH ME, IS IT JUST BECAUSE I AM A GUY?! I mean, WOMAN are supposed to be 'empowered and do whatever they want, in defiance of antiquated GENDER ROLES, while we guys are STUCK IN THE STONE AGES!!! @#$%^$&$&*$@^(^$@@#$!!!!!!

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Kiwi vs. Redenbacher

There seems to be two approaches to 3d animation these days.Redenbacher back from the grave is a CREPPY video of a dead man brought to life with the voodoo of CGI. What's creepy is its ALMOST convincing. Uncanny Valley and all that. Deeply disturbing stuff, and yet they keep trying, trying to make a cgi that feels completely human. Maybe they will get it soon, but as you can see, the cusp is worse then almost. On the other hand, we have .Kiwi, a delightful short that has more true honest heart then that bloated voxel corpse could ever have. More heart then most Hollywood movies I've seen. To quote Vegi-Tales, "I laughed, I cried. It moved me Bob." Its a great film, if this guy doesn't get a great career in CGI, something is truly wrong with the world. Far less manhours went into this, and yet it has far more genus. Its beauty and truth reach deep into my soul, and well, he flew. He flew. That's all you can really say. He, FLEW.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

I aint your wife Buddy!

I posted the address for this delightful piece of work nobody reads on a forum I am part of, when this guy posted something odd in the topic. He shall remain nameless, but for some odd reason he posted (at least I assume he is a he, never know in Canada now)"How do you know my wife, and when did she start this blog?" It reminds me of the time I was mistaken on elfwood for the guy who did some famous Jaws ripoff movie. They were all gushing on how they were amazed to talk to me and how they didn't know I did fantasy and all that. Who knew ubber-crappy directors had fans. I don't mean MST3k type fans, I mean fanboy type fans. It was weird let me tell you. I debated telling them, but my conscience beat my dark side at arm wrestling so I did the right thing and set him strait. So anyway I am waiting to hear a reply so lets hope this clears up nicely.

Monday, August 6, 2007

How I got my exercise for the day

5 words, 100, worst,p***,movie titles. Look it up at this off the wall site
I indulged my inner 12 year old, and decided to look this up and believe it or not it was what I wanted to find. Oh god this site is funny, I was laughing the whole freaking time.In fact I got slightly told off for laughing so hard by my landlady. Man it was SO FUNNY! I love "worst of " sites, but this one is well I think one of the funniest.I think I burned about 40 extra calories, dang it was so funny. enjoy

So I lied...

All right this time we are NOT talking about grin factor. We are talking about a song that speaks deep into my soul. "Fare thee well" by Mary Chapin Carpenter. This song is like a brave grin in the wind of fate, wishing things were differant but defiantly standing firm.Will her love come back, we don't know, what we do know is that she will wait...

Grin Factor

Grin factor (to me) is when you listen to music or watch a movie and something about it just makes you grin for so long and so hard that your cheeks start to hurt. Its when it "Kicks Ass" for you. Case in point, again for me, not sure what the rest of you think, but 'hell march' for Red Alert. I would start the game just for that song, grinning like I'm on joker gas tapping my foot, head banging to this piece. it just kicks ass, it has Grin Factor. Movie that did it for me? " Mystery Men" that movie is Fun with a way big capital "S" and so is its song.(You know the Smashmouth one, also on Shrek) It's when you love it because you love it, Its got Grin Factor!

Street Fighter:The MOVIE. Damn Cheesy Fun

This movie is stupid, but I don't care, its Fun. And that is something all ye fanboys and fancy pants artsy types forget. This movie has more flaws then amateur animated porn,( No, I do not want to see Mrs Jetson get it on with Scobby -Doo* shudder*) But it is Fun. It doesn't take itself seriously it doesn't care what fanboys little tootsies it steps on, its FUN! I didn't grow up with this game but I have played it a few times, and though it IS one of the all time greatest games EVER, and this movies so ISN"T, it is still a lot of fun. So its cheesy as all hell, I don't care this movie has major grin factor. (Next post, Grin Factor and why it is important to me) If your a fanboy who could use a laugh and still relies not everyone cares as much as you do about the game, then its a Fun film. If the thought of anyone spoofing your precious street fighter fills you with a rage worth of my dad after a unwanted scalping/freezing shower, then avoid this movie, it just may give you a heart attack.So watch it this movie, its Fun!

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Second Helping Time Travel Paradox

Now most time travel paradoxes deal with free will and killing your parents and all that. Fun and often evocative stuff, but I have another that is just as weird.
You are the evil genus brother, your brother got a bowl of Ice cream for desert, but none for you (something about your latest attempt to take over the world with radioactive mole zombies)anyway you take your hand dandy time portal, and set it to 10 seconds after your brother got it ,but before he starts eating reach through, grab the bowl and take it to the future. Yummy, revenge is sweet. But your still hungry, so you go back to 5 seconds after your brother gets it. Yummy, twice as sweet. But where does the matter and energy come from. You just ate the same ice cream TWICE! huh?
BRain hURT, mE gO bYE-bYE.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Star Trek books, or "picard would never say THAT"

Now I like star trek, a lot. I am willing in broad daylight call myself a trekkie. Now I don't care as much as some fans about absolute continuity. None of that " in episode for 56 the dilithiom matrix was at 43.452 terracochrines and then in episode 79 was at 43.459, how do you explain this?!" burbage. Though I would give everything but my BRAIN for a working warp-drive, and trek-nobabble is fun, that not the best part of the show for me. Its the characters. And this so what grates my nerves in the books. You see every character has a 'voice' that can be picked up even if you are only reading the script, but the books more often then not get it so wrong. And the fact that occasionally they get it right show it is possible, so it can't be a complete lack of effort, can it? Oh I know its tough to do, In my own writing I have only once been able to get a voice for my character I was truly proud of, but I know its possible. And I don't truly expect a dozen authors to be able to convey the same thing all the time, but sometimes it can really turn a book off for me. Best example Picards use of slang in Genesis Wave book 2 ( and no I art not so anal as to say what page paragraph ect.)It just stopped the book in it track s, and sent my suspension of disbelief on a fast train to Dallas. Now I can see how the early books for each series would have trouble, some still been written as the series went on but STILL. geesh. FACE MY LITTLE TREKKIE WRATH!!!

Thursday, July 26, 2007

A Light too Bright to be Seen.

I had a thought recently, first one in a long while ;D
And it was, do photons bend space time? I decided to look it up but all the answers were so technical that my brain collapsed and I had to reboot, twice. When I resurfaced, my brain still wanted to think about the implications if they did. And I thought of one. If photons could bend space time, that means if you get enough of them together, space time would collapse inward around them until not even light could escape. of course anything that made that much light would collapse into a black hole anyway, but its still a weird thought. I'm going to lay down now.

I hate blogs

I hate blogs, well not hate, but what I DO hate is all that insane "woohoo, blogs are going to make it all like, user created and down with big media and its all free now" crapulent. blogs are important yes, but in all likelihood the only person who is going to read this is my cat, and I don't HAVE a cat. Yes blogs have a huge readership, but only the famous ones, like those done by celebrities and such. Sure there are quite a few that many read done by ordinary joes and thats great, but its not going to make the world some big commune style love-in,with media going down the tubes and WE the PEOPLE making it all. Well let me point out something very important. most stuff made by people with a cheap dv cam and posted on you tube is unmitigated CRAP. Though occasionally something surfaces that rises above the sludge, but most of it has more chance more chance of growing legs and leading a revolution among the squirrels and the taking over the world. I like watching shows that have somewhat more then a zero budget. so come and comment if this offends ye, a discourse is of course most heartening, but this is my position and I stand on it.